The thoughts of you will not ruin my life.

I haven't been too articulate lately, my apologies. I've been a little emo bitch (pity parades and all) ever since returning from the Philippines. I thought "It's this house that's making me this way, I was raped here, that's why I can't keep my thoughts in order."

I keep on blaming the fact that I was abused for everything. This needs to stop.

I don't want to stay cooped up in this room, crying all day, because I'm too afraid to trust people. I want to go out to clubs on Saturday nights, I want to meet a nice guy who'll buy me flowers, I want to conquer, I want to be educated.

These things can't happen if I keep on like this.

I was hurt, but pain is necessary to grow, to obtain beauty.