7 posts from 2009

Dear blog,

This is to inform you that I will not be updating you very often. I'm terribly sorry. Updates will decrease until I shut you down. 


I'm getting sick. 

And I'm online only during the weekends. 

I only come to you to whine anyway. 

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i fail at dying.

no. really. i do. 


-.-


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this side of me needs more love.

i can really see myself falling for you. 

caring for you.
loving you. 

i don't know why. 
i can trust you more than people i've known for years.

when did this happen? 

i began talking to you in... december? 
i had no idea who you were, 
but i kept on asking you to marry me. 
and i kept on saying "lolwut, i love you" or "orange box, i love you~"

*face palm*

and then you replied with "i love you, but i won't marry you"

i nearly fell off my chair. 
it felt nice to laugh so freely.
i hadn't laughed in so long.

so i kept coming back. 
you were always there. 
i was bored, and needed some sort of interaction.
so i'd talk to you,
and you'd talk back. 

you "fail at conversation". 
that's fine, 
i do too. 

(let's fail together)

*head desk* 

there were more conversations,
and more laughter. 

i don't know what will happen now. 

i use you as a distraction. 
it's not fair. 

but i've tried playing by rules, 
and it's never done me any good. 

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no. no. no.

i'm not doing this again. 


i'm not going to get my hopes up.

i am just going to write this story, and drop off of the face of the planet. 

i am here...
to tell people about your life. 
your exciting eventful life~

because mine isn't good enough.
my life... won't sell as many copies. 

so it's you. 
you. 
you.
you.


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i'm glad that you're far away.

if you were any closer, i would have convinced myself that you were perfect. (you are in a way, but lets not get into that). and then what would have happened? i'd start to expect certain things. things that weren't possible. things that couldn't be. and you'd feel the weight of it. and perhaps i'd lose you for good. a lovesick heart tends to be over-zealous. so i'm ok with the distance. i'm alright with being so far. i don't want you to come closer. i i i i... there it is again.

loneliness has turned me into a fool.


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6:51am

“Tellement je t'aime, je pense à toi
Tellement je t'aime, je rêve de toi
Tellement je t'aime, passionnément
Tellement je t'aime, à la folie...”

 

I’m such a dork.

 

Ah! But your voice!

I’m smiling!

Your geeky laugh,

I smile more!

 

I know, that it’s nothing much,

So I won’t treat it that way,

But I’ve got a reason to get out of bed now,

I’ve got a reason to expand.

 

A goal.

A small, simple goal.

 

To see you.

 

: )

 

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note to self:

Please stop over thinking things.

Some people are genuine, while some are not.

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